God,

Why do you seem so far sometimes. I know you are holding my heart and you love me so much, but I wish you could come hug me! Hold me like a father holds his kid who fell and skinned her knee. I want to scream up at you! Can’t you see that there is a world down here that is falling apart?!?! Where are you father! Why could you let people die that never had a chance! I know there is reasons for all this, but God I want to have answers! Are you there in Africa where the Mother is holding there dead child that died so young from AIDs? Where were you in Hattie? What about here in the US? Where where you when my heart broke? I know in my mind you are here, but why can’t my heart see it! I know you promised you would never leave of forsake your people, but sometimes I just am not sure!

Love your Child,

Susan

Susan, Susan, Susan,

MY precious child, have you forgotten I am right there with you? Have you forgotten when your heart breaks mine does too? I love you, so much I sent my son to save you! I have never left the world! I will NEVER leave the world! Have you forgotten who I am? I created you! I love you and my creation SO much! Trust me my child! I cannot promise and easy road, but I promise you that when you have faith in me I will get you through it all! I love you!

Love God Almighty

Late nigh after Serfs (need I say anymore?)

School is keeping me on my toes... Not really in a bad way! It is late after serfs but I wanted to write something. So far this semester I have been really blessed with some amazing friends! God is really good! He really gives us what we need. I have also been praying for a strong focus on God. He have given me a deep desire to search more in to the bible to answer some tough biblical questions I have. He is teaching me to rely in him to get me through questions. Sometimes they are pretty frustrating! Well that is how God works!

Random frustration~ I am rather frustrated with learning to be patient.... AAAAAaaaaaaa! I am 21 and you think I would know how to be patient! SEE I am even impatient to be patient!!! YA!!!! I am pretty good!!!!

I am rather tired so I am going to call it a night!

History Starts Now!!!!

WOW!!! This semester is at a full sprint already!!!

God does funny things. He speaks to me in ways I don’t even understand. I just got done with a dinner at the Cook’s home. Lois is a lady from my church who I have been meeting with for awhile and she really is just being a strong women mentor for me. I am blessed to have her in my live. Anyways after dinner we (Lois, her husband Jim, and I) were talking about life and we talked about all that is happening in Haiti. When I got in to my car this is the song that was on the radio! WOW!!! God you are amazing!!! So I am honestly crying again over all this right now. I am listening to the song again! God please be with these people of Haiti! This rips my heart apart!!!

Chris Tomlin - I Will Rise
From the album Hello Love

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say, "it is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

Chorus:
I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God, fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

And I hear the voice of many angels sing, "worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart, "worthy is the Lamb"

So it is like 2 in the morning and I do not have my spanish done... AAAAA! This is crazy!! It is easy but it is taking FOREVER! Anyways it is due tomorrow at midnight, so I think I am going to call it a night... So before I go to bed I want to post this! It make me laugh! This was my horoscope for today... (I don’t believe in these things but it was funny!)

You can express yourself much more clearly -- and creatively -- through writing today, so it's a good time for blogging, poetry, email and anything else that involves words on paper or screen.

Moving rocks

(the last old one for today)

Have you ever tried to beat the impossible?

Wanted to make it work so bad?

Pushed a rock face because you wanted to move it.

Because you thought you could.

Because it would be better like that!

You can’t!

You push

You push

You push

It taunts you

It is not moving!

You fall to your knees

Tired

Warn

Done!

You look up at the rock...

It is still there

It won!

Glass heart

(over time I will add some stuff I wrote in the past)

I protect my heart knowing it can shatter

Bubble wrap it so it is safe

It is made from original fine glass

It is reveled to few people

Even fewer get to touch it

I slowly unwrap it

I reveal my heart to you

Piece at a time, slowly, slowly

Until it is striped of its protection

I let you touch it

I slowly give it to you to hold

Only for a second

Next time for two

Until I trust you with it

You see my heart is cracked

Poor repair jobs hold it together

I wince when you stroke it

You do not need to ask why

You know that I have hurt

People have broken my heart

I glue it back together

I appear to the world to be fine

But you can see that it is still hurt

I surrender my heart to you

Only you can repair it

The repair process hurts

But better when done correctly

You prepare my heart

So that I can give it to someone

Someone who will respect it

Someone who will give it back to you

Child

She sat alone at a small wooden table in a open common room filled with a few people who’s murmur could not be heard over her thoughts. The room was lined with large bay windows that looked out on the black cold night. She sat there mulling over thoughts that turned through her mind and penetrated through her heart. Glancing out the window the girl watched the tear blurred lights of cars who raced by. Her mind and heart were at war. All she could do was stand and watch while her heart had been beaten and her mind had lost. There was nothing left but the cold cry of pain. Nothing... Nothing... It was all gone... The cry faded like wind leaving through a old house and then silence.

Everything stood still in that moment. A warmth slowly crept from her her toes the the deepest part of her being. She felt a the warmth of a hand closing her eyes to wipe the tears away. A sweet voice spoke softly in to her ear: “Child I love you. Let go. Let me take all your burdens. I will take them and carry them for you. Let me mend you heart and make it new and whole again. My child trust me for I know your plans for good and a future of hope. Let me be your guild; allow me to lead you down the straight path. I love you... I love you... I love you..."

My First Blog

So I am not going to write to much now, but I wanted to start a blog to kind of write some stuff down for me and for whomever else wants to read it. It is kind of late now and I want to go to bed. Before then I want to explain my title of my blog. I didn’t know what to name it so I figured I would go through my names of my songs on my itunes and see if there was a title I liked. “A Little More” by skillet came up. It is a great song and I think it is SO fitting! I am going to leave you with the lyrics:

Love is all around you now

So take a hold

Hidden in our words

It sometimes ain't enough

Don't suffocate day after day

It's building up

Cause when you're feeling weak

You know I'm strong enough

Just one more day

One more day

Oh, let the world crash

Love can take it

Oh, let the world come crashing down

Oh, let the world crash

Love can take it

Love can take a little

Love can give a little more

Love is indestructible

So take a hold

Sometimes hard to find

A reason good enough

I'll stand beside you

Never leave through it all

And faith will bring a way

To the impossible

Just one more day

One more day

Oh, let the world crash

Love can take it

Oh, let the world come crashing down

Oh, let the world crash

Love can take it

Love can take a little

Love can give a little more

You can find me

You can find me

You can find me anywhere

Take a look over your shoulder

I'll be standing there

Standing there

Love is all around you now

So take a hold

And faith will bring a way

To the impossible

Just one more day

One more day

Let the world crash

Love can take it

Oh, let the world come crashing down

Oh, let the world crash

Love can take it

Love can take a little

Love can take a little

Love can take a little

Love can give a little more

A little more

Take a little more

Take a little more